T2 or New Moon

Okay, so who won in the movie battle of 2009. Obviously, Avatar but we'll throw that option away since, its still in theaters and its 2010, the two main movies have been Transformers and New Moon. Wait, what about Harry Potter and Up? Well, Up is a kid's movie and Harry Potter got old after the first 3 movies so back to New Moon and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Everyone knows that Megan Fox's sexy body and Taylor Lautner's ripped physic are irresistable, so who exactly won. According to Yahoo, New Moon came in 5th with a total gross of $288,548,185 while Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen relieved $402,111,870 placing it 1st. Who cares about numbers, lets ask the fans...um...me...well the bias fan.

Makayla (Megan Fox) vs. Jacob (Taylor Lautner)

40% of guys said that Megan Fox is Hotter

35% of guys said Taylor Lautner is Hotter

15% of guys says bullshit

10% of guys are undecided

Clear winner, Megan Fox but I'm worried about the 35% of guys saying Taylor Lautner is way hotter, because 1) they watched New Moon 2) are they straight?

Optimus Prime's waxed body or Edward's (Robert Pattenson) glowing body

Okay, seriously, who the fuck makes a vampire glow when exposed to sunlight? WHO??? What the fuck people! I swear, Twilight ruined everything about vampires, yes they have feelings but no, they're not crazy romantic. Enough about my rant.

Car enthusiast say that Optimus Prime's waxed body is way better since they can see their big chinned, Italian reflection on it. Kristen Stewart said that Robert wasn't supposed to glow but his uncontrollable sweating and the lighting on the set made it so that he glowed. So, its a disgusting tie!

One more thing, anyone notice that Megan Fox's white pants in the movie didn't seem to get dirty until the fight sequences and believe me, rolling in sand and desert and huddling in mud huts will make white pants dirty. Seriously, its like, clean, clean, clean, hey! a smudge, clean and wtf happened, theres burns and dust and sand and mud on her pants, how did it get dirty that fast?

Disclaimer: The statistics, besides the one cited and quotes or opinions in this entry were all from me. They're imaginary.

You Know What...

You know what I never get, Asians that don't appreciate their culture. Now, lets get one thing straight, I love styled hair and drifting as much as the next guy but thats not the Asian culture. Im talking about eating the food, absorbing the history and being proud to be what you are. I don't really know where I'm going with this...Seriously, I don't even know the Asian culture because Asia is a continent. I'm not going to cover every thing.

Okay, Chinese people...um...fuck, what is the culture for Chinese people? Like, making crappy products and shipping it to the U.S.? Making crappy condoms? Aha! No wonder China is over populated!

Japanese, dude, okay, first of all, they also lost their culture. Damn, the freaking disturbing crap they do. That is just sick man. Funny though. Ah! Cars! Yea, Japanese cars are great, really reliable but that not their culture, its more like eating sushi and rice, singing karaoke and drinking sake.

Man...I don't know why you're still reading, I mean seriously, this post is going nowhere. I could do Tiger Woods joke but all the late night comedians used them up.

How to escape to Mexico without spending a lot of money

Well, first of all, why do you need to escape to Mexico? That's a little weird, man. Anyway, first, if you're not Mexican, buy a mustache, a poncho and a sombrero. Practice your Mexican accent and learn Spanish while you're hiding from whoever or whatever it is you're hiding from. This is the most important part of the plan. Listen! EAT FOOD! Somewhere between the buying and the learning, you'll forget about food and thats important. Now, what you want to do is go to the parking lot of Home Depot and pretend you're an illegal immigrant. Get hired to do a few jobs here and there, just to make some money. After a few jobs, take all of you're money and put it in a zip lock bag and get a surgeon and tell the surgeon to make an insertion on your back and stow away the money. After the job is done, kill the surgeon and take his money (hey, if you're on the run and about to lose your life anyway, this won't be a problem). Now, what you want to do is go to a pay phone relatively close to the home depot parking lot, call immigration and wait in the parking lot. This is where the Spanish, the poncho, the accent, the sombrero and the mustache come in. Put all that together and act really, really, really Mexican and illegal. Immigration will catch you, they won't find any documentations and assume your an illegal immigrant. They will deport you, which is practically free and there, you're in Mexico. Now befriend a Mexican, make sure he's a good friend, not some back stabbing drug dealer. Once you've established he's safe and a friend, get a scalpel and some stitches and have him open up the area where you stowed the money. After that, give him about two dollars, exchange the rest of the money in Pesos, go to work and have some mojitos and just chill with some hot Latinas.